A Mere Spectacle of Disaster Porn

Summer epics don’t get any dumber than San Andreas; as buildings crumble so do your brain cells. 

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San Andreas is visually striking and nothing more. If Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson running from one crumbled building to the next is your definition of popcorn fun … go crazy! Besides the splendid visuals we get so-so performances, zero plot-line and laughable dialogue. But yet again, many people want big summer escapism with lots of cool computer-generated mayhem, for which I would tell them to go see the exhilarating car chases and collisions in Mad Max: Fury Road. That film alone would be more satisfying in the long run.

Here, we get Johnson bursting around to save the left side of the states. His charisma was a treat to watch on the big screen, but not enough to save the film from slowly plummeting. Johnson teams up with Brad Peyton (director of Journey 2: The Mysterious Island, okay?) to engulf the entire state of California in one setting. Johnson plays Ray Gaines, an LAFD helicopter pilot who specializes in search-and-rescue operations in Los Angeles. 

Cue the paranoid seismologist know as Dr. Lawrence Hayes (Paul Giamatti), who is predicating a massive earthquake along the titular fault line from Los Angeles to San Francisco. Nobody believes him, of course, until it happens. Oh the humanity! What’s Johnson to do? Save his family of course. That would be his wife Emma (Carla Gugino) and their daughter, Blake (Alexandra Daddario). Oh yea, and a handsome Brit named Ben (Hugo Johnstone-Burt) and his younger bother, Ollie (Art Parkinson). 

As for the rest of the citizens you may ask? In the wise words of Rhett Butler, “Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn.” So there you have it, Johnson and his family running for their lives while the rest of humanity falls into the unknown. Slap that with some awe-worthy visuals and you have San Andreas. In the end, Johnson with his charisma and muscle power was able to save two stars for the film, while the rest of the stars crumbled along with the buildings. 

San Andreas is rated PG-13 (Parents Strongly Cautioned). For intense disaster action and mayhem throughout, and brief strong language.