A Double Feature Review! Two Terrible Features.
Amazon's Cinderella (2021) is a terrible re-imaging of the classic fairy tale. I understand adding a modern take to this old story, but the direction, writing, and acting all come off as cringe-worthy. The dialogue is clunky, while the songs are just downright annoying. The soundtrack was like listening to a Kidz Bop mixtape. We got songs like Queens' Somebody to Love or Madonna's Material Girl. They even sang songs like Ed Sheeran's Perfect and Jennifer Lopez's Let's Get Loud. Adding an updated soundtrack to this movie just did not work. Maybe on paper, it sounded good, but the execution was disastrous. Writer-director Kay Cannon (director of 2018's Blockers and writer of the Pitch Perfect trilogy) seemed like a good choice to revamp the Cinderella story. Sadly, her direction throughout this family feature falters. Not even the star power of Camila Cabello, Idina Menzel, Minnie Driver, Billy Porter, and Pierce Brosnan could save this movie. By the end of this jukebox musical, I had a headache. Did I mention that James Corden voices a mouse? Terrifying! To say this in the nicest way possible, Cabello has a great voice, but her acting is just awful. I know that Glynis was also incredibly excited to see a Latina be portrayed as Cinderella, but the film's ending results and execution ultimately let her down. Here's to hoping that Rachel Zegler's portrayal as Snow White in Disney's upcoming live-action remake will be a success. If you want to watch a Cinderella movie, then I recommend watching the 1950's animated classic, the 1997 Rodgers & Hammerstein's one starring Brandy, or the 2015 live-action version starring Lily James. In the end, this is a shallow and catastrophic re-imaging from the Bezos vault that is not worth your time.
Cinderella is rated PG (Parental Guidance) Language | Suggestive Material.
Stream it on Amazon Prime Video ... if you dare.
Directed by Kay Cannon
Starring Camila Cabello, Idina Menzel, Minnie Driver, Billy Porter, Pierce Brosnan, and mousey James Corden.
Diana: The Musical
I always enjoy watching a live recording of a Broadway musical, but Diana: The Musical is not it. Terrible cannot even begin to describe this live production. It's two hours of nonsense crippled with the exploitation of Princess Diana and her image. Diana: The Musical is a production that's incredibly cookie cutter and surface level in its storytelling. Shrill and desperate, this is a musical fueled with cold, hard cynicism. This production of Princess Diana adds nothing to her legacy as a mother, wife, royal, or celebrity. Instead, we get the greatest hits of Diana's life, with no emotional core. Biopic musicals can be hard to accomplish, but as long as there's an emotional core grabbing ahold of your audience in-between the catchy musical numbers — normally — you are pretty good to go. The musical follows Diana Spencer (Jeanna de Waal) from her first meeting with Charles (Roe Hartrampf) through her divorce and tragic death. While the acting is subpar, the musical numbers are even more forgettable. This all fades away to the sparkly production designs that make you wonder: "why am I even watching this?" Netflix is trying to take advantage of its royal content after coming off the heels of its current critically acclaimed television series The Crown (which I like), but don't let them fool you with this dumpster fire. Due to COVID-19, this live performance was recorded last year with no audience. But, I am beginning to wonder if COVID did not even want to attend. Diana: The Musical will open on Broadway starting next month (November), and we'll see how that goes. Maybe I am being a little too harsh on this production, but I really love the theatre. It's where I go to escape. With Diana: The Musical — escape — I did not.
Diana: The Musical is rated PG-13 (Parents Strongly Cautioned) Strong Language | Suggestive/Thematic Material.
Stream it on Netflix ... if you dare.
Directed by Christopher Ashley (Shocking!)
Starring Jeanna de Waal, Erin Davie, Roe Hartrampf, and Judy Kaye.
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