To be honest, Seventh Son is a terrible movie, but at least I got a good laugh.
From the get-go, Seventh Son never really sparked my interest, but my 14-year-old brother finally talked me into seeing this fantasy mishmash. And you know what? I slightly enjoyed my visit, slightly. Seventh Son is the first unexpected comedy of 2015, I haven’t laughed at something this awful in a long time. Seventh Son falls into the respected category of so-bad-its-almost-good films. But director Sergey Bodrov (Mongol) cursed Jeff Bridges and Julianne Moore’s talent with a lame medieval film about witches and witch hunters. Bridges and Moore come back for a little Big Lebowski reunion, though I would have rather seen them back together in a Coen brother’s film any day.
Based on the children’s novel, The Spook's Apprentice, scriptwriters (Charles Leavitt, Steven Knight and Matt Greenberg) send the film into uncontrollable hilarity. So we get cursed into the Middle Ages, where we meet Master John Gregory (Bridges), a spook that hunts witches and does exorcisms. Bridges’ mumbling and grumbling dialog makes it hard to hear what the hell he’s trying to say half the time, but I just went along with his nonsense for the time being. Gregory is now the last of a knightly order, once 1,000 strong. To help him out, he takes on a new apprentice, Tom (Ben Barns), the seventh son of a seventh son. Now, Tom and Gregory go head-to-head with a supernatural witch, Mother Malkin (Moore). With the strange plot line of a Blood Moon increasing Malkin’s power every day, she becomes a threat to humanity and a headache for Gregory.
Moore who was breathtaking in Still Alice, gives a cringe worthy performance here. Oh well, she’ll still win an Oscar this Sunday, Feb. 22, so she can drink this bad performance away! This troubled production and long-delayed release didn’t help Seventh Son’s case anymore. It’s loaded with bloated CGI action and cheesy fantasy thrills. The unintentional laugher comes along with the fight scenes, romance scenes and dialogue. There’s Bridges making a goon out of himself in every scene, followed by cheeky bad romance scenes with Barns and Alicia Vikander. Seventh Son tries to be one of the greats (Lord of the Rings and Game of Thrones), but is an epic misfire for the fantasy genre. I almost want you to see this film, almost. In the end, at least I got a good laugh.
Seventh Son is rated PG-13 (Parents Strongly Cautioned). For intense fantasy violence and action throughout, frightening images and brief strong language.
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